#{ witches in space } ᵍᵒᵗᵍ ᵛᵉʳˢᵉ

[thiscrimsonsoul]

❝  have you even taken the time to let yourself feel it?  everything that’s been happening.  eventually,  you have to slow down and let it feel real.  ❞

@celestialmantdonna

"Yeah, I... I don't think that's a good idea," Wanda said awkwardly. "Every time I let myself feel things, people got hurt." She thought about when she lost Pietro, and that wave of sudden energy had radiated out from her. It destroyed nothing but robots, thankfully, but what if civilians or one of the Avengers had been in its path? And then there'd been her treatment of Westview... the result of her grief and anger over Vision. If she let herself really feel his loss again, and that of her boys, what else might happen? "I don't want to put anyone else in danger, Mantis. I've done enough. I need to pull back from my own emotions, if anything, not try to feel them more intensely."

[thiscrimsonsoul]

Wanda listened as Thor explained how things had all gone down on his side around the time Vision was killed. The time I killed him. In the moment, she'd been so focused on Vision and then on Thanos to notice what any of the others had been trying to do, so she listened intently as Thor told her what had happened, his tone taking on that of a confession, almost. She could feel his guilt and regret even without touching him.

"It wasn't your fault," Wanda said. "I don't blame you for what happened then, or for what happened afterward." It was the truth, really. It sounded to her that Thor had tried to do all he could in the moment, and then afterward, she knew he had his own people to consider and couldn't simply remain on Earth. Thor... wasn't the problem. Others had been capable of doing more but chose not to. Others could have taken better care of Vision in her absence but didn't. Those were the ones she was angry at, not him.

"Thank you," Wanda replied to Thor when he said her sons would've made great warriors. In truth, Wanda hated war, and she would never want for her sons to have to become involved in it. However, she understood that, culturally speaking, such a sentiment was a great compliment coming from Thor. For that reason, it made her happy.

She didn't know what to make of the bickering and the back-and-forth, rapid-fire conversation between several of the Guardians, and her exhausted mind could barely keep up at present. Wanda stood there, listening in silence, comforted at least by the fact that her relating of her tale hadn't caused them to immediately want to jettison her from their ship. Maybe they didn't believe some of what she'd said, or maybe they weren't interested in helping her, but it seemed that at least for now, she had a place to stay where she wouldn't be alone.

"I've had enough for now, thank you so much, Mantis," Wanda said with a small smile. "Oh, I... I can just... I can create my own clothing, no need to take from you," she said. "I don't want to impose, really, I just... can't stay alone anymore." The book continued on in its incessant whisperings to her, a bit affronted at the way Mantis had come between them. "Well alone with... with the Darkhold. But if it isn't too much trouble, maybe a shower would be nice." It wasn't as though she couldn't also instantly clean herself the same way she could create clothes, but there was something to be said for the warm water and the self care process.

"Are they alright with me being here, though...?" she asked Mantis but then looked to Thor. The Guardians seemed rather divided on Wanda's story and what to do about it. "I don't want to cause any problems. I seem to be doing a lot of that lately, wherever I go..."

What Have I Become? || closed reply

@thiscrimsonsoul continued from here

Mantis knew things would never be the same, not after everything Thanos had done to the galaxy. To the family Mantis had found when she wasn't even looking for one. She had always known the galaxy was cruel, so much so that Mantis only sought to make it softer with her gentle disposition. But, as she witnessed the aftermath of Thanos' plan, Mantis realized she would hardly be able to make a difference. She pushed the thought aside; after all, a small difference was still a difference.

Even though the galaxy had been permanently changed, Mantis enjoyed little moments like these, letting her mind wander while she would tend to her plants. She hummed a melody, her hands arranging the leaves calmly. Focused as she was, she didn't notice there was someone new aboard the Benatar. She was startled by a loud knock on her bedroom door, and she frowned slightly before reaching out to open it.

"Wanda?" Mantis asked. What was Wanda Maximoff doing in space? And how did she get into their ship?

Mantis wasn't too familiar with Wanda, but as the young woman threw her arms around her, begging for help, Mantis hugged her back almost instinctively. A victim of the Snap holding another in a moment of need, now that they were something other than mere dust.

"Wanda," she repeated, keeping her voice soft. "What...?"

Wanda's energy revealed she was unwell, so Mantis knew her healthy, youthful appearance was an illusion. Wanda was in so much pain... She was grieving, and she felt tremendous loss, guilt and overwhelming loneliness. Mantis rubbed Wanda's back in an attempt to soothe her, though she refused to use her powers for now. Sometimes people just needed a hug and a sympathetic ear.

"It's okay, you are safe. Thor is here, if you are looking for him, and... I am here, too. You are not alone," she said, hoping Wanda would understand that whatever had happened, she didn't have to go through it alone.

[thiscrimsonsoul]

Wanda was staying with the Guardians for a while, since she needed a support system and they didn't want her to be alone. She had borrowed a book from Mantis, leaving it open on her bed after Rocket called her. He claimed to need help with something, but he was only trying to distract her so Mantis could leave a present.

On the bed, Mantis had placed the Zune and new headphones over the book Wanda was reading, and a little note: The Zune is all yours for the next 48 hours... but you need your own headphones! Listen to all the music you need. I hope it helps you! ♡ -Mantis.

She'd taken a walk around the ship, for lack of anything else better to do. The exercise did her good, because sitting in her room all the time, alone with her thoughts, certainly didn't. Wanda felt so tired, though she knew there wasn't really a reason for that. It wasn't like she'd cleaned the whole ship, or run a mile, or done anything else of value. So why was she so tired?

Reading helped to pass the time, as did spending time with Mantis and any of the other Guardians who weren't unnerved by her being there. She truly was grateful that they were letting her stay, because if she was left alone with that book, she was just so afraid of what might happen. It still called to her, often, but she tried her best to ignore it. It was getting harder to do that, though.

When she reached her room, she sighed. Maybe reading would help? But there on her bed, where she'd left a book someone had lent her laying on it, there was something else. Two things. Two things and a note. Wanda stopped and stared at them for a moment before picking up the note and reading it.

Oh... Once the words sunk in, a little frown emerged as she felt the sting of tears in her eyes. What a nice thing for Mantis to do. How thoughtful, and kind, and-... She rubbed at her eye rather than let any tears fall from it. She felt her throat cramping with the sudden surge of emotion.

It was just so nice. Wanda wasn't used to people simply being nice to her anymore. The Guardians had been so far, most of them, but... Mantis in particular had really gone out of her way, and each new act of kindness never failed to send Wanda into a spiral of the most desperately aching need for people to care about her. She kept it bottled most of the time, but when someone did something like this, it surged within her like a massive tidal wave, as unstoppable as it was forceful.

She sat down on her bed with the Zune in hand. "Yeah, I have... no idea how to use this..." she muttered to herself. But she could learn. If she could work a smart phone - kindof - then this probably wasn't much harder, right? After fiddling with the little player for some time, she figured it out enough to try listening to some songs.

Grabbing the headphones next, she had a bit of a moment thinking of Pietro and how much he'd loved music. Wanda had too, once, but she'd preferred to play it herself, and with her family, back in the days when she still had a family as a child in Transia and then Sokovia. Shaking her head and pushing the thought away, she put the head phones on.

Oh, she liked this. Wanda smiled as the sounds of singing and various instruments filled her ears. Not only was the music pretty good, but... most importantly... when she had the head phones on and the music turned up, the incessant whisperings of the book where harder to hear and easier to distract herself from...

[thiscrimsonsoul]

"I did the right thing... eventually. After it was too late, in many ways. After everyone either hated me or feared me... or both," Wanda said darkly, not giving herself any credit at all. All her life she'd been told by various people that she was a witch, she was evil, she was someone to be feared or even killed. After what she'd done in Westview, she was seriously starting to think all those people may have been right. The guilt was overwhelming, though it still paled in comparison to her grief at losing Vision again, and their boys.

"Don't I...?" she asked with a cynical smile. "There are a lot of people who would argue that I do deserve them, after all I've done." When Mantis offered to taker her nightmares away, though... Wanda's gaze shot up to hers for a second. It was tempting. Very tempting. But... no. "No, I... I can't do that," she said. "My dreams, even if they are nightmares, are all I have left of Vis and the boys now. If I let you erase them, it's like I'm-" She choked a little and it was a moment before she spoke again. When she did, her eyes were flooded with tears. "...it's like I'm killing them all over again."

Wanda sniffled and wiped at her eyes, forcing a smile. "Thank you, though. That's very kind of you. But I have to keep dreaming about them. Even if it hurts."

@thiscrimsonsoul continued from here

Mantis didn't mean to upset Wanda by showing concern, though she knew the woman wasn't upset because of her. Wanda was going through a hard time, and Mantis wanted to offer her all the comfort and reassurance that Wanda could possibly need.

Sitting next to Wanda, Mantis lifted a hand to place it over the woman's shoulder. Hopefully physical touch would help her stay grounded in the present moment. She had expected that answer; Wanda did look sleep-deprived and exhausted. The empath wasn't necessarily offering to use her powers to help her sleep. For now, she could offer a sympathetic ear.

"I see..." Mantis replied softly. "Nightmares can be difficult." An understatement, really. Nightmares had to be one of the most counterproductive things in life, interfering with the very function of sleep itself. After a bad day, sleep could be a means of escape, but what did you do when it wasn't a source of comfort? When it only came to torment you further? Talking about it could help, but only Wanda could decide whether she wanted to or not.

[thiscrimsonsoul]

Wanda's gaze fell subconsciously, shamefully, as they all reacted to her appearance. I do look different, don't I? Like a withering flower. Like something desiccated and dying. She felt that way on the inside, too. She wasn't sure why Quill reacted so sharply to her, but she knew why Thor did. He, better than all of them, knew what she'd looked like before. Look how far I've come, she thought darkly. Look how far I've fallen. Farther than you, I assure you. She said none of that, though, and only stood there until Thor addressed her again.

"No, I... I wasn't," she said, fully realizing why he was asking and anticipating that her answer would confuse him. "I um..." Wow. This was a lot to explain. Not a lot in words, or time spent doing it, but a lot in weight. In grief. In agony. "After Thanos was defeated, I... wanted to know where Vision was buried. So I started asking... only to find that no one knew. Because he was not buried anywhere. It seems no one bothered to attend to his wishes while I was busy being dead."

Her eyes flashed red for a few seconds, and now they were getting a taste of it... of what had entirely changed Wanda. The shame, the timidness, the close-off nature of the woman before them fell away completely, and who was left underneath was angry, bitter, and one thousand percent done with the bullshit of those who were responsible for Vision's fate. Her gaze was different now. Stronger. More vicious, in a way, yet still restrained, like a snarling animal pulled by a leash.

"I tracked him down to a facility that somehow acquired his body from... the gods only know whom." The gods help them if she ever found out whom. "They had taken him apart. Like a junk car. Like a broken television set." Her voice became deeper and eerily serious with her measured words, trying not to let the full extent of her rage come out. She didn't want to go into the fact that she couldn't feel Vision's presence anymore when she'd broken into the laboratory and tried. Or what they had ultimately done to him... the bleached ghost of Vision trying to kill her, a husk without a soul. That hadn't been Thor's question, and so she moved on.

"I was understandably... upset... by this," she said pointedly, her eyes closing as she appeared with every fiber of her being to be trying to keep herself under control. When she opened her eyes again, the remnants of glowing red magic could be see briefly as it once again faded. "And when I visited the empty lot Vision had purchased for us to build a house on, I um... I lost my shit, for lack of a more eloquent way of putting it, and..." Thor would know, so she turned to him. "If you remember what happened when Pietro was killed, the energy wave I released... in Sokovia? It happened again. Only instead of being destructive and killing everything around me, this time... it created a... like a bubble... a world... in which... Vision could still be alive."

Tears started trickling down her cheeks, but she was smiling as she spoke. "And he was alive, and we were married, and happy... and we had two sons, Billy and Tommy, and it was everything I ever wanted..." And now the horrible truth. "But I'd inadvertently enslaved a town when I'd created the Hex. The happy community they knew, that the version of Vision and our two boys that I'd created from myself knew... it was all changed and forced to behave a certain way... for us. By me."

They'd think she was a monster, but there was no point in lying. It wasn't like they couldn't look it up the next time they were on earth. "And the military was called in, as always seems to happen with me, and I came to the conclusion that I had no choice... but to take down the Hex, even knowing what that would do to my family. The rest of the town couldn't be freed as long as it was up, so I... dispelled it. When I did that, Vision died again. In front of me. I watched him disintegrate." Her words were now surprisingly stoic yet cynical. "And I assumed the same happened to our boys. It should have."

The Darkhold loved this. All the emotion pouring off of Wanda - the deep grief, longing and loss - oh, it was like candy to a child. It floated closer to her, gaining strength from all her negativity.

"But apparently they aren't dead, just... just somewhere else. Another timeline, maybe... or another universe. The Darkhold lets me hear them. They call out to me, asking for my help, and I... I have to find them. I'm their mother, I have to protect them..." Her fists clenched and red magic swirled around them, though it didn't seem to do anything at present. "But it's... What it's telling me I need to do... seems wrong. It scared me, and I couldn't take it anymore, so I... that's... how... I ended up here."

The gods only knew what any of them would think of all of this, but as she waited to be condemned, probably, or... maybe something else, she slipped a picture out of a fold in her outfit, one she always kept with her. Unfolding it, she handed it to Thor. "There they are..." she whispered.

At least the photograph was proof she wasn't crazy.

What Have I Become? || closed reply

@thiscrimsonsoul continued from here

Mantis knew things would never be the same, not after everything Thanos had done to the galaxy. To the family Mantis had found when she wasn't even looking for one. She had always known the galaxy was cruel, so much so that Mantis only sought to make it softer with her gentle disposition. But, as she witnessed the aftermath of Thanos' plan, Mantis realized she would hardly be able to make a difference. She pushed the thought aside; after all, a small difference was still a difference.

Even though the galaxy had been permanently changed, Mantis enjoyed little moments like these, letting her mind wander while she would tend to her plants. She hummed a melody, her hands arranging the leaves calmly. Focused as she was, she didn't notice there was someone new aboard the Benatar. She was startled by a loud knock on her bedroom door, and she frowned slightly before reaching out to open it.

"Wanda?" Mantis asked. What was Wanda Maximoff doing in space? And how did she get into their ship?

Mantis wasn't too familiar with Wanda, but as the young woman threw her arms around her, begging for help, Mantis hugged her back almost instinctively. A victim of the Snap holding another in a moment of need, now that they were something other than mere dust.

"Wanda," she repeated, keeping her voice soft. "What...?"

Wanda's energy revealed she was unwell, so Mantis knew her healthy, youthful appearance was an illusion. Wanda was in so much pain... She was grieving, and she felt tremendous loss, guilt and overwhelming loneliness. Mantis rubbed Wanda's back in an attempt to soothe her, though she refused to use her powers for now. Sometimes people just needed a hug and a sympathetic ear.

"It's okay, you are safe. Thor is here, if you are looking for him, and... I am here, too. You are not alone," she said, hoping Wanda would understand that whatever had happened, she didn't have to go through it alone.

[thiscrimsonsoul]

Thor did look very different to Wanda, but she didn't hold that against him, or judge him for it, or think he looked stupid, pathetic, slovenly... none of that. If anything, it brought tears to her eyes and made her heart ache for him to see him in such a state. He looked on the outside the way she felt on the inside. Wanda knew that Thor understood how she felt about the whole Thanos issue, and that he'd suffered too, in his own way. Her heart broke for him to see the effect that grief and guilt had had on him, but she understood. Oh, she certainly understood. More than she wished to.

But he'd tried his best, given it his all, just like she had. He hadn't even been from Earth and didn't have to care if he didn't want to, but he did, and he tried. For the sake of all the universe, he'd done all he could do. Wanda knew that because... so had she. She'd given everything, including the man she loved. And it hadn't been enough. When they broke their hug, before stepping back from Thor, Wanda lifted her hand to his cheek, briefly rubbing with her thumb, her eyes filled with tears and a broken smile on her face that seemed to silently say... I know.

Wanda continued to smile sadly at Quill's enthusiasm at her recognizing the name of the ship as that of a music artist. "Yeah... Pietro thought so too. He liked her... and um... Bon Jovi. They were two of his favorites. He loved music. It got him through a lot of hard times." Although her smile with regard to reminiscing about her brother was a genuine one, it was so sad, not reaching her eyes, and the lips that formed it trembled slightly, as if they would crack if she tried to push them to curve upwards too far.

Oh, how her heart ached even more when Mantis came over to rub her back after simply expressing gratitude over soup had sent Wanda over the edge and had her crying outright once more. But it was a good ache. These people, the Guardians and even Thor, had been more comforting and supportive of her in less than an hour than the rest of the Avengers had been in years. That point was not lost on Wanda at all.

"It is, yes. It really is," Wanda said, nodding and chuckling through her tears. Thor was absolutely right, Mantis made excellent soup. She tried to get her crying under control as she listened to Thor explain to her how he came to know the Guardians. She felt a twinge of amusement but didn't comment when Thor called Rocket a rabbit. He... he looked like a Raccoon to her, but then again, how many raccoons did she know could walk perfectly upright, talk, and wear clothes? Probably best not to comment until she knew him better.

As Mantis and the others discussed the Darkhold, and when Mantis mentioned Wanda's black fingers... Wanda figured the jig was up. There was no point in deceiving them if Mantis had revealed the truth, and definitely not if they were trying to help her. With an utterly ashamed expression on her face, Wanda bowed her head a little and made a slow flourish with her hands, removing the illusion magic that had her looking at least halfway normal...

As the magic was dispelled and fell away, she looked thinner, grayer, with dark circles around her eyes and those black, almost necrotic-looking fingers one might see on a victim of severe frostbite. Her good-girl clothing also dissolved into her Scarlet Witch attire, some of which Thor would recognize, but he'd notice that it was now a bit... off. There was a black, cracked stain right over her heart that radiated outward from it, as if the blackness was creeping from her heart over the rest of her body. The outfit, once bright red, was now a dark burgundy. Dare anyone say... that it was now the color of freshly-spilled blood? She looked enigmatic, beautiful, and magical... but also threatening and terrible.

Wanda paused to see how her revealing of herself would be received... and then awkwardly prepared them for the rest. "Um... this is... the book. It's... it's known as the Darkhold." With another flourish of her hands, the book appeared, floating before her, its ancient, crinkled, browning pages rustling between two halves of a cover made from once-living skin. It had its own presence, far beyond what an inanimate book should have. It put out the sense into the room that another being had just walked in, something living, sentient, and aware of them all.

When Quill asked what else the book was telling her, she didn't hold back. If these people were willing to listen to her, to help her, then maybe she should just be openly, brutally honest with them. "It's been telling me that my boys, my twin sons, are in danger, and that I have to help them. It lets me hear their voices... calling for me... and it... it's telling me they're not here, they're on another plane or... in another universe, I'm not sure yet, but..." She once again lost her battle with her own tears. "I've been studying it, to learn more about what I do, about my powers... so that I can save my boys..."

In response to her saying all of this, the Darkhold began to whisper... not only to Wanda but to all present. They were wispy, insidious, and unintelligible things, these whispers, speaking a language long forgotten with time, but with every ear they reached, they left an unsettling feeling of being in the presence of something of grave and otherworldly evil...

What Have I Become? || closed reply

@thiscrimsonsoul continued from here

Mantis knew things would never be the same, not after everything Thanos had done to the galaxy. To the family Mantis had found when she wasn't even looking for one. She had always known the galaxy was cruel, so much so that Mantis only sought to make it softer with her gentle disposition. But, as she witnessed the aftermath of Thanos' plan, Mantis realized she would hardly be able to make a difference. She pushed the thought aside; after all, a small difference was still a difference.

Even though the galaxy had been permanently changed, Mantis enjoyed little moments like these, letting her mind wander while she would tend to her plants. She hummed a melody, her hands arranging the leaves calmly. Focused as she was, she didn't notice there was someone new aboard the Benatar. She was startled by a loud knock on her bedroom door, and she frowned slightly before reaching out to open it.

"Wanda?" Mantis asked. What was Wanda Maximoff doing in space? And how did she get into their ship?

Mantis wasn't too familiar with Wanda, but as the young woman threw her arms around her, begging for help, Mantis hugged her back almost instinctively. A victim of the Snap holding another in a moment of need, now that they were something other than mere dust.

"Wanda," she repeated, keeping her voice soft. "What...?"

Wanda's energy revealed she was unwell, so Mantis knew her healthy, youthful appearance was an illusion. Wanda was in so much pain... She was grieving, and she felt tremendous loss, guilt and overwhelming loneliness. Mantis rubbed Wanda's back in an attempt to soothe her, though she refused to use her powers for now. Sometimes people just needed a hug and a sympathetic ear.

"It's okay, you are safe. Thor is here, if you are looking for him, and... I am here, too. You are not alone," she said, hoping Wanda would understand that whatever had happened, she didn't have to go through it alone.

[thiscrimsonsoul]

Oh... how Wanda clung to Thor in that moment. Maybe they hadn't been the closest in the past, but he'd been kind enough to her. She... couldn't say the same of herself with regard to him. Wanda still carried guilt for how she'd invaded the minds of all the Avengers, and yet Thor still chose to hug her. That melted her heart, honestly. And that was not the only thing that did...

As she hugged him, her empathetic abilities kicked in, and she felt his guilt and sorrow as well. He... he was overweight. His hair and beard had grown out and was unkempt. He had a old-soul stare to him, and not just because he was an old soul. Just as Thor had recognized signs of self-neglect in her, so too did Wanda recognize them in him. It broke her heart to see the once-proud, fit, unstoppable god so... so broken. But she understood how he got that way.

Her eyes filled with tears as he said it was his fault, that he should have protected his people better. Wanda understood that guild as well as anyone. She shouldn't killed Thanos. She should've protected Vision. She should've protected her boys... It felt so good to be hugged, though, and that helped divert her attention from the guilt. It was always there, just beneath the surface. The Darkhold whispered to her of it. But right now, the voices were distant, thanks to Thor's care of her.

When he said no harm would come to her, she was grateful for that. "Thank you," she said almost timidly, though in the back of her mind she was afraid. It's all of you who should be afraid of me, she thought. She'd like to think she wouldn't hurt anyone here but, then again, she never thought she'd enslave an entire town either.

She turned to Quill as he welcomed her to the ship and tried her best to pay attention to the introductions of some of the others too. She'd heard the question he asked right well, but... lately Wanda's mind moved a bit more slowly than others. It took its time, processing everything. "The Benatar?" she asked after a moment. "Like the singer? Pat Benatar?" She wasn't a fan, but there was someone who had been. "My brother used to listen to her."

Sighing and folding her arms, as if trying to disappear into herself, Wanda then addressed Quill's question. "I don't really know, actually. I... I needed help... and I panicked... and I asked my magic to take me to a place where I could get that help. To where... I could find someone I knew and trusted." She turned back to Thor. "I guess that someone my magic chose was you," she said with a sad smile.

"And Mantis has been... so..." She didn't have the words for the kindness the woman had shown her. "She made..." Her voice gave out and she started crying outright. "She made me soup..." she forced out softly, laughing a bit through her tears, because it was such a wonderful gesture. Her hand covered her face and she cried, feeling so embarrassed and ashamed of how she even got here in the first place. Not... here onto the Benatar. Here in life.

What Have I Become? || closed reply

@thiscrimsonsoul continued from here

Mantis knew things would never be the same, not after everything Thanos had done to the galaxy. To the family Mantis had found when she wasn't even looking for one. She had always known the galaxy was cruel, so much so that Mantis only sought to make it softer with her gentle disposition. But, as she witnessed the aftermath of Thanos' plan, Mantis realized she would hardly be able to make a difference. She pushed the thought aside; after all, a small difference was still a difference.

Even though the galaxy had been permanently changed, Mantis enjoyed little moments like these, letting her mind wander while she would tend to her plants. She hummed a melody, her hands arranging the leaves calmly. Focused as she was, she didn't notice there was someone new aboard the Benatar. She was startled by a loud knock on her bedroom door, and she frowned slightly before reaching out to open it.

"Wanda?" Mantis asked. What was Wanda Maximoff doing in space? And how did she get into their ship?

Mantis wasn't too familiar with Wanda, but as the young woman threw her arms around her, begging for help, Mantis hugged her back almost instinctively. A victim of the Snap holding another in a moment of need, now that they were something other than mere dust.

"Wanda," she repeated, keeping her voice soft. "What...?"

Wanda's energy revealed she was unwell, so Mantis knew her healthy, youthful appearance was an illusion. Wanda was in so much pain... She was grieving, and she felt tremendous loss, guilt and overwhelming loneliness. Mantis rubbed Wanda's back in an attempt to soothe her, though she refused to use her powers for now. Sometimes people just needed a hug and a sympathetic ear.

"It's okay, you are safe. Thor is here, if you are looking for him, and... I am here, too. You are not alone," she said, hoping Wanda would understand that whatever had happened, she didn't have to go through it alone.

[thiscrimsonsoul]

Mantis really had a way of making people feel comfortable. And realistically so. It wasn't like she immediately solved all of Wanda's problems, or even professed to have any clue of how to try, but she let her know she was not alone, and that her and the Guardians could look for solutions. She had a place here, if only for a little while. Unlike some of her other supposed friends, they weren't going to abandon her to her grief. They could help her, even if that help ultimately only ended up being comfort for her pain. That was immensely comforting to Wanda, and she smiled as Mantis told her there was more soup to be had as the empath went to talk to the others.

But just like that, the energy of the room changed, and Wanda heard arguing around the corner. Soon the scene spilled over into the kitchen and Wanda sat still and eerily calm, watching it. She wasn't afraid of these people because, sadly, and rather grimly, she knew she could easily defend herself against any of them. Against... really anyone, she knew. They had no idea the extent of her power, but neither did Wanda want them to find out. She wasn't here to hurt anyone. If anything, she'd come here because she didn't want to harm anyone anymore.

And really, if Nebula wanted to kill her, would that really be so bad? Her pain would end, and her powers would never hurt another innocent person ever again. Wanda didn't fear death anymore. She knew there were far, far worse things in the world than that.

No, no, she thought. You have to stay alive... for the boys.

And so she sat there, watching the scene play out, not venturing to get involved. She did, however, let her magic fix some of her appearance whilst everyone was distracted, making her look less haggard and tired, removing some of the gray coloring of her skin and replacing it with a healthier hue, and removing the black stains from her hands. When spoken to by Rocket, Wanda looked at him and nodded slightly, staying right where she was, lest she instigate them further. Maybe she wouldn't be so welcome here after all, given the chaos her simple existence on the ship had just caused. It left a sinking feeling in her heart. Please don't make me go back to my cabin and my solitude...

Wanda swallowed hard to hear that Nebula had overheard them. Well, she supposed, the cat's out of the bag now. They won't trust me to stay here. For a moment, she thought she ought to just leave without saying anything. Stress, strife, struggle, and suspicion seemed to follow her wherever she went and she was exhausted by it. Was there no place on Earth - or in space - where she could belong? Or at least just have a moment of quiet?

She slowly rose from her chair and wrapped her arms around herself, looking like the picture of fragility, despite the power she had the potential to wield. Although she hadn't the energy for such things at all, Wanda was guessing she would have to answer a lot of questions very soon, unless she just decided to leave.

"I didn't come here to hurt anyone, I just... needed, um..." But before she could think of what to say that wouldn't result in another all-out brawl, Thor was sticking up for her, vouching for her. The sight of him had two effects on the exhausted witch. First, it was so good to see someone she knew, someone who had been one of the first people to free her from Hydra and set her on a path to a better life. Too bad it didn't take. But second... gods, he looked like he'd been through his own hell and back. Maybe he had. Wanda hadn't seen him in years, save for at that fateful battle with Thanos and the funeral that followed. Before she could think, or speak, or formulate even so much as a hello to Thor, Wanda found herself engulfed in a hug.

It was a strong hug. A warm one. It reminded her of Pietro, and of Vision. And really, she'd missed Thor so much. There were so many people Wanda missed, for equally as many reasons. Lifting her arms slowly, she moved to hug him back, and within seconds, she was clinging tightly to him and sobbing against his chest. There was no holding it back anymore, especially with a hug that felt this safe and protective.

"I'm sorry!" she blurted out through her sobs. She didn't even know what she was apologizing for, but somehow, in front of Thor, someone she used to work with and who had once seen her as a hopeful case for rehabilitation, Wanda suddenly felt like a total failure. A disgrace. She's let him and so many others down. It was easier to justify herself to those she didn't know, but Thor would see past her carefully constructed facade because he knew her. That had Wanda terrified, but also strangely comforted.

In her distressed state, her magic slipped a little. She looked thin, tired, gray, and unwell. But again, Thor knew her, so she knew she couldn't hide any of that from him...

What Have I Become? || closed reply

@thiscrimsonsoul continued from here

Mantis knew things would never be the same, not after everything Thanos had done to the galaxy. To the family Mantis had found when she wasn't even looking for one. She had always known the galaxy was cruel, so much so that Mantis only sought to make it softer with her gentle disposition. But, as she witnessed the aftermath of Thanos' plan, Mantis realized she would hardly be able to make a difference. She pushed the thought aside; after all, a small difference was still a difference.

Even though the galaxy had been permanently changed, Mantis enjoyed little moments like these, letting her mind wander while she would tend to her plants. She hummed a melody, her hands arranging the leaves calmly. Focused as she was, she didn't notice there was someone new aboard the Benatar. She was startled by a loud knock on her bedroom door, and she frowned slightly before reaching out to open it.

"Wanda?" Mantis asked. What was Wanda Maximoff doing in space? And how did she get into their ship?

Mantis wasn't too familiar with Wanda, but as the young woman threw her arms around her, begging for help, Mantis hugged her back almost instinctively. A victim of the Snap holding another in a moment of need, now that they were something other than mere dust.

"Wanda," she repeated, keeping her voice soft. "What...?"

Wanda's energy revealed she was unwell, so Mantis knew her healthy, youthful appearance was an illusion. Wanda was in so much pain... She was grieving, and she felt tremendous loss, guilt and overwhelming loneliness. Mantis rubbed Wanda's back in an attempt to soothe her, though she refused to use her powers for now. Sometimes people just needed a hug and a sympathetic ear.

"It's okay, you are safe. Thor is here, if you are looking for him, and... I am here, too. You are not alone," she said, hoping Wanda would understand that whatever had happened, she didn't have to go through it alone.

[thiscrimsonsoul]

Wanda had felt like a caretaker for one important moment in her life. Taking care of Vision and the boys, being a mother, being a wife, being the one that pulled the family together and made sure there was love, support, and cookies... it had been wonderful. But it had all been ruined and taken away from her too soon, and with it, that feeling of caring for others. Suddenly she was a wife without a husband, a mother without children, and a homemaker without a home. Without anyone to care for, Wanda just... didn't. She even stopped taking care of herself.

To have Mantis take care of her now was such a nice departure from the norm for Wanda. Someone was making sure she ate, asking her if she wanted to talk, and giving her a place to stay in her time of need. It felt good, if not a bit strange. Her solitude had become so all-consuming that it took someone finally going out of their way to care for her for her to see just how far she'd fallen.

Wanda blinked a couple times. "Yeah, I... I guess you're right, they would be. I never knew them. I don't even know if they're still alive," she said with a listless shrug. When Mantis said she didn't think Wanda ought to go to Wundagore, her gaze lifted to hers. "But if I don't go, and there was a way to help my boys, and I didn't look into it..." Wanda said, trailing off, for she knew Mantis was right. Everything the book had said to her had been leading her in a certain direction, and even she had a feeling that direction wasn't the kindest or most moral in the world. Not that Wanda was afraid of blurring the lines of morality when it came to protecting those she loved, but...

Mantis had a point. The way she was feeling, the nightmares, the fear of being coerced into hurting people... it was all coming from the book. So therefore, she really shouldn't look to take any of its advice anytime soon. "To my knowledge, my aunt never had the book, though. Before me, it was owned by someone who I think had it a very long time. Maybe you're right about the power in my family attracting more of the same, though."

She sighed and wiped her face with her hands, having finished her second bowl of soup. "But how will I ever know the truth of what's going on if I never go there and see for myself? What if ignoring the book and my own curiosity leads to something worse?" Wanda shook her head, clearly distressed by everything. "I just don't know what to do..." she admitted.

What Have I Become? || closed reply

@thiscrimsonsoul continued from here

Mantis knew things would never be the same, not after everything Thanos had done to the galaxy. To the family Mantis had found when she wasn't even looking for one. She had always known the galaxy was cruel, so much so that Mantis only sought to make it softer with her gentle disposition. But, as she witnessed the aftermath of Thanos' plan, Mantis realized she would hardly be able to make a difference. She pushed the thought aside; after all, a small difference was still a difference.

Even though the galaxy had been permanently changed, Mantis enjoyed little moments like these, letting her mind wander while she would tend to her plants. She hummed a melody, her hands arranging the leaves calmly. Focused as she was, she didn't notice there was someone new aboard the Benatar. She was startled by a loud knock on her bedroom door, and she frowned slightly before reaching out to open it.

"Wanda?" Mantis asked. What was Wanda Maximoff doing in space? And how did she get into their ship?

Mantis wasn't too familiar with Wanda, but as the young woman threw her arms around her, begging for help, Mantis hugged her back almost instinctively. A victim of the Snap holding another in a moment of need, now that they were something other than mere dust.

"Wanda," she repeated, keeping her voice soft. "What...?"

Wanda's energy revealed she was unwell, so Mantis knew her healthy, youthful appearance was an illusion. Wanda was in so much pain... She was grieving, and she felt tremendous loss, guilt and overwhelming loneliness. Mantis rubbed Wanda's back in an attempt to soothe her, though she refused to use her powers for now. Sometimes people just needed a hug and a sympathetic ear.

"It's okay, you are safe. Thor is here, if you are looking for him, and... I am here, too. You are not alone," she said, hoping Wanda would understand that whatever had happened, she didn't have to go through it alone.

[thiscrimsonsoul]

Wanda couldn't help herself. She cracked a smile when Mantis so matter-of-factly said she was in space and so "normal" was subjective. She had a point, of course. Wanda was sitting here talking about how she wasn't normal while she was literally in outer space with a group of aliens. It was kindof funny the more she thought about it.

She also had a point about her not eating. Wanda was struggling, and it affected every aspect of her life, not just her mood. Her eating schedule, sleeping schedule, even some aspects of personal hygiene were all screwed up now. The days ran together, and half the time she didn't even know what date or day of the week it was. Mantis had exactly the right of it. Wanda... had simply stopped making self-care a priority for herself. She nodded. "You're right. And it... it seems so obvious to me, now that you say it, but when I was by myself and just... immersed in my studies, I... I couldn't see it."

At Mantis' questions, Wanda shrugged and shook her head. "I really don't know. I never knew her. My parents must've tried to help her, or else how would they have known any of it was going on?" she mused. "They said she became stranger and more paranoid the further along she got in her pregnancy. She'd gotten pregnant by her boyfriend," Wanda explained. "By the time the baby was born, she went into hiding in a mountain..." She hesitated for a minute, wondering if she should share the name. "Wundagore. It's in Transia, where Pietro and I lived before we moved with our parents to Sokovia. Apparently she wanted to make sure her boyfriend never found their baby, so she went off the grid. But after it was born, she went crazy and left, and no one ever saw them again. At least... that's what my mother told us. We were born around the same time. My mother and her sister were pregnant at the same time."

But there was more she wasn't telling Mantis, and she really wasn't sure she should even be talking about it. Discussing anything from that book made it more real, and made the voices coming from it even louder. Mantis was trying to help her, though, so... "You know... the book speaks to me of Wundagore too. It wants me to go there. To the top of the mountain. I don't... fully understand why... just yet. It promises to tell me, once I've studied enough."

When Mantis asked if her aunt's boyfriend had powers, Wanda shrugged again. "I really don't know. I know that... certain abilities run in my family. My mother was an empath, like you, and my maternal grandmother had some abilities too. But it was always only in females. Until Pietro, that is, but my mother always supposed that it was because we were twins, that he somehow had these abilities because he shared a womb with me. But like I said, I never knew my aunt or her boyfriend, so I couldn't say what either of them were capable of."

She sipped some more soup before speaking again. "But... my mother seemed to always make it a point that my aunt really didn't want him to get his hands on her child. As if... something very bad would've happened if he did. I guess you can't go by the words of someone who's crazy, though..."

What Have I Become? || closed reply

@thiscrimsonsoul continued from here

Mantis knew things would never be the same, not after everything Thanos had done to the galaxy. To the family Mantis had found when she wasn't even looking for one. She had always known the galaxy was cruel, so much so that Mantis only sought to make it softer with her gentle disposition. But, as she witnessed the aftermath of Thanos' plan, Mantis realized she would hardly be able to make a difference. She pushed the thought aside; after all, a small difference was still a difference.

Even though the galaxy had been permanently changed, Mantis enjoyed little moments like these, letting her mind wander while she would tend to her plants. She hummed a melody, her hands arranging the leaves calmly. Focused as she was, she didn't notice there was someone new aboard the Benatar. She was startled by a loud knock on her bedroom door, and she frowned slightly before reaching out to open it.

"Wanda?" Mantis asked. What was Wanda Maximoff doing in space? And how did she get into their ship?

Mantis wasn't too familiar with Wanda, but as the young woman threw her arms around her, begging for help, Mantis hugged her back almost instinctively. A victim of the Snap holding another in a moment of need, now that they were something other than mere dust.

"Wanda," she repeated, keeping her voice soft. "What...?"

Wanda's energy revealed she was unwell, so Mantis knew her healthy, youthful appearance was an illusion. Wanda was in so much pain... She was grieving, and she felt tremendous loss, guilt and overwhelming loneliness. Mantis rubbed Wanda's back in an attempt to soothe her, though she refused to use her powers for now. Sometimes people just needed a hug and a sympathetic ear.

"It's okay, you are safe. Thor is here, if you are looking for him, and... I am here, too. You are not alone," she said, hoping Wanda would understand that whatever had happened, she didn't have to go through it alone.